I cannot do

I cannot do but let it go

Choice is brief - Regret ongoing

And so the past off center keeps

My present way of knowing

I can't be just in today

My mind keeps looking back

It worries about yesterday

And all the things I lack

I'm learning to be more open

To let this day be fresh and new

And bring to it a happy heart

That sees a brand new view

So full of my potentials

My imaginations cache

I learn to get my ideas out

And turn them into cash

Keep it being a brand new day

And trust my inner sense

As thoughts and day dreams visit

Offering gentle guidance

PFK

9/05

I live in a heart shaped world

Where things go wrong anyway and frighten

But someone reaches out - Encourages

And my load seems to lighten

And my life gets a lift

From things that weigh me down

And my attitudes shift

And I smile instead of frown

Love and kindness work that way

They facilitate me my life to live

It's a lot of give and take

And I get pretty much what I give

PFK

3/10

I've only wanted one safe place

And trial by fire has been my lot

My parents couldn't give me what they didn't have

And I think of all that I am not

And now I've found it for myself

Through shame and hate with tears and grief

And now I am what I was not

And I have found the thief

Who took the thing I wanted

But left a clue or two

My life is slowly healing

And self love is coming true

PFK

2/06

I've never had my heart's desire

I didn't know what that was

My life was about survival

And I never knew the cause

My problems were not obvious

But they were odious and real

I seemed to have a nice childhood

But I didn't know how to feel

My parents were like doughnuts

With holes where their hearts should be

They tried hard and they meant well

But they couldn't give what they never got - you see

My childhood went on anyway

In spite of any improbability

And I grew up the best I could

I took it as my responsibility

And I learned what I needed to know

In my own personal way

I set my own standard

I decided what I had to say

I had therapists who listened

And told me I made sense

And encouraged me on my way

And I found my recompense

Life is better with some healing

Wounds go untended or issues left undone

I struggled years to sort it out but

Through it all I'm glad to have gone

I didn't get much of what I wanted

But I value what I achieved

I found my truth - It set me free

At last I'm so relieved

My heart's desire has come

In ways I couldn't see

My ego needed a healthy dose

Of love's humility

PFK

4/09

I have met my monster who's enraged by invalidation

His presence makes me feel out of control

My life is never my own in such a situation

And I won't play the what-I-was-born-to role

I have struggled for insight and am beaten but successful

The lumps I took strengthened my resolve

To have the faith I'd see it through and know the bliss of peace

It's what I need to help me to evolve

Walking down the path I'm given (I don't think I asked for this)

I'm humbled now and just as well amused

New life has taught me how to laugh (who knew that I forgot)

It explains a lot how I was so confused

And of course in much denial (It's nothing new to me)

But inch by inch I succeed a little more

And now I know my monster can sabotage it all

If I don't keep him on his side of the door

I need to learn to love myself (Unless I do who will)

My existence is a gift from God to me

Now I know how to feel with my heart - The proof is on

The inside - Something you can't see

And yet it's just a language I slowly had to learn

My path is never straight but serpentine

And now I know it daily (At least that much I've learned)

While moving along this blessed path of mine

PFK

2/06

I dreamed I was in prison

Captured by my past

My habits had caught up with me

My die was darkly cast

My bars were made of memories

And gave me little room

Deprived of any movement

My cage felt like a tomb

I have struggled with my life

And the lessons I had to learn

Denial was my jailer

Grim and blind and stern

And angry beyond measure

And how could I know this

Holding onto anger

Destroys my chance for bliss

I lived through devastation

But was not lost for good

Humility and compassion

Now stand where I stood

My past recedes as always

I get out of the way

I practice love and faith

But compassion holds me sway

PFK

1/06

Offensive Offending Offended

What else could I possibly be

Lost in the chaos of my day

And all my negativity

Wake up - Slow down - Get a grip

Relax my grip upon my day

Release is an option of overload

Let it go another way

It doesn't have to go my way

It's old behavior tired and fraught

After looking all these years

I've learned a brand new ought

I ought to pray for guidance

And listen to what comes

I ought to cultivate a state

Of twiddling my thumbs

Rushing around doesn't do it

It's an old pattern - Let it go

Let my day define itself

Around the goal I know

PFK

12/05