I struggle so with changing

In the recent musical SECRET GARDEN a young girl had worked through the winter to revive a forgotten family garden.  In the spring when everything bloomed, the novice gardener was overwhelmed with the lush beauty and exclaimed: "Where did it all come from!?" A compassionate elder answered: "From all your hard work! Where do you think?"

Sometimes the reality can overwhelm the idea; emotional recovery is like that:

I struggle so with changing

It's like my chrysalis doesn't fit

Internally I'm in chaos

Quietly feeling out of it

But change - It is relentless

Opposed - It will not be

No wonder I feel helpless

With these feelings coming out of me

I could use a therapist

To observe and take good notes

To help me keep my focus

And take down all my quotes

You said you feel like giving up

What would change if you did

Now can you see more clearly

Why you did what you did

I break it down and pull it apart

To see what I can find

How it reflects precisely

All my thoughts within my mind

And the feelings that go with them

It's marvelous to see

Influences which forged my heart

In the smithy of my family

But now I am reforming

My rigid defenses melt

In the heat of all this attention

I re-feel how I felt

And I fear I cannot stand the heat

When it's just a part of me

Seeing parts and feeling parts

Redefine my heart that's Me

It can't happen if I don't do the work

On the work of art that's me

My truth I see as beautiful

Once I set my feelings free

PFK

8/09