The redemption of expression

I started thinking about doing this blog in a positive, albeit hesitant, insecure way in Aug 09. By the end of the year, I had lost all my savings.  In Feb 2010, I realized I had to sell my house and find Section 8 housing, seeing it as another consequence of our Great Recession. 

As my world was on the cusp of major change and transitions - a small voice inside seemed to say - "This is a good time to start something new." - I got the sense that I should go back and visit my other transitions - and heed my own wisdom in the past - and share it as well. I know I am not alone in my country, in my world.

Like a drooping, thirsty, ignored plant - Our faith needs watering - Anyway we can - To move forward with loving resolve - To find  our way. I love the lyric from a rock song: The spirit of life - Is the will to carry on

Inhale - Exhale

Take in - Let go

Nourish your faith

Practice what you know

PFK

3/10

I've been entering a group of 17 poems - but these next three poems I just wrote to cope in the present:

Oh my life is drama

I'm a victim and distressed

But not everything that happens

Needs to be addressed

I just need my focus

Minus detours with my ego

That wants to fight my dad

And refuses to let go

When awareness leads to surrender

And acceptance of what is

It belongs to no one else

Not theirs -Not hers -Not his

PFK

3/10

God help me - I have lost my way

My emotions I can't bear

I am in new territory

I have shed such bitter tears

My life is changing much too fast

I do not feel I kept

My wits in the past in check enough

Now I have to watch my step

With every step I take

When I look at my behavior

I see I dropped my faith

I have lost hope of a savior

I'm trying to save myself

I feel desperation's growl

I think of giving up

I feel that wild dogs howl

Just to make a sound

Throw it out - Let it go

In the night - To a dark moon

What do I have to know

What have I forgotten

As I stumble on my way

Lost in feeling rotten

I forget what I would say

To anyone so miserable

I can't think - I can only feel

I should only hunker down

Til I figure out what is real

PFK

3/10

God has blessed me - I can tell

I've had this healing home

All my emotional mid-life work

While here - I let it come

And worked it through & found my peace

Within these gorgeous walls

But nothing lasts forever

I can almost say I don't mind at all

I've had my many feelings

Anger Fear Anxiety Tears

But my perseverating gratitude

Assuages all my fears

Once an emotional storm passes

I'll remember what I've had

Since nothing lasts forever

Saying farewell doesn't feel all bad

And life is often bittersweet

With new growth - Change and loss

I find my balance seeing both ways

My choices are no longer a coin toss

For I have grown in confidence

Living in this - My now happy home

I built it up from its blighted state

My adventures would fill a tome

My mother inspired and included me

From her dream came my healing home

Now I have had the benefit

And it frees me to move on

PFK

3/10